


Sleepover

by niennaerso



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-05-19 10:15:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14871836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niennaerso/pseuds/niennaerso
Summary: Phil loves Dan but he may not love him back.Inspired by Hayley Kiyoko's Sleepover





	Sleepover

Dan entered Phil’s room without warning, which made Dan jump of surprise on his bed. It wasn’t that he wasn’t used to come into Dan’s bedroom out of nowhere, but they usually walked in screaming each others names to let the other know they were there. Dan only showed him the Buffy dvd’s and Phil understood it right away: he was always ready for a marathon. 

He followed Dan to his bedroom because he just happened to have the largest TV in their house, and even if Phil didn’t want to admit it, his bed was also the comfiest. After bringing snacks and placing themselves inside of a pillow fort, they started to watch the series for the millionth time. Sadly their marathon had started pretty late and Dan fell asleep during the second episode. By his side, Phil was certainly paying more attention to the boy than to the screen. He looked so calm, pacific and beautiful that he had to restrain his urges of stroking his face and hair, and maybe of kissing his lips. But he knew he wasn’t allowed to do that and that he would never be. 

Phil didn’t want to think about it. Every time he did he ended up feeling bad. Actually, he felt worse than he already did. It was pointless to raise up his expectations, the opportunity wouldn’t come and that fact was not going to change. He liked being by Dan’s side anyways even if it wasn’t in the way he pictured. The younger boy had repeated how much he wanted to maintain his friendship with Phil for the rest of their lives, and whenever he said that, Phil contained himself before he could respond with a better idea he had. He kept thinking about it and feeling worse, and there was nothing to be made to make him feel better. 

Both of them sleeping on the same bed wasn’t new, they usually did marathons in the same was as that day. All those times he prayed for something to happen, wondering if it was even a possibility. His mind always answered his question with a sharp _‘no’_. Now the blue-eyed boy had settled to only having dan in his head, where everything was possible and dreaming didn’t cost anything, with an exception of some nocturnal tears. 

He turned off the TV and sighed, louder than he intended to, and Dan shifted on the bed letting his hand fall right beside Phil’s, slightly touching his pinky finger. He thought Dan was about to wake up but he was wrong. Phil stared at both hands. Dan would never understand, even if they’d always each other’s backs, even if he held his hand, how lonely Phil felt. And he also felt that he was meant to be that way, for the rest of his life. He didn’t want love with anyone else; he only wanted Dan. He smiled to try and convince himself he wasn’t feeling awful, but who was he kidding? No one was looking at him, he didn’t have anyone to fool. A sob left his mouth involuntarily, so he stood up to return to his room. Now this was what woke up Dan. 

“Phil? What happened? You okay?” 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” he responded, walking away towards his bedroom. 

Could sleeping wash away his loneliness? No, but it was good for ignoring it for a while. A while he wished could be eternal. 

_‘I don’t want to think about it’_ he then thought.


End file.
